Monday 18 July 2022

If you had Grown up during your Gandparents' Time

 











As I sit down to write on the latest prompt of the " Blogchatter Blog Hop", I ask myself what can I write about "Grandparents' time". How do I start? Perhaps it is necessary to attend to first things first; like fixing the time line. My grand parents may have been born in the first decade of the twentieth century or thereabouts. What would be my life like had I been born in 1909 in the Kingdom of Cochin, part of present day Kerala? I would be a 13 year old (Teenager) in 1922, a 25 year old (youth)  in 1934 , a 35 year (prime of youth) old in 1944  , and 45 year old in 1955 ((middle aged) and a 60 year old in 1969 (senior citizen). 

As a teenager, we attended school on and off. We had to walk around 15 miles and cross some difficult terrains to reach school. On the one side we were facing the indignity of being ruled by foreigners while on the other side, the tyranny of the caste system was being faced by most people. Frequently, groups representing the freedom fighters came and pulled us out of the class rooms to go on a procession. We were arrested and let off with a warning most of the time. 

Unlike the present times of nuclear families, we lived in joint families with each brother having 7 to 8 children of their own. My father had six children and I was the fourth in line. The limited resources had to feed many. Therefore, some of the young family members ran away in search of a job/ a means of living.

 One of my cousins, Raghavan managed to get access to a ship that was going to the middle east. It would take days facing a lot of hardships on the way to reach the destination. Yet, he went as it was the only hope for a better life. We never heard from him again. I myself dropped out of school and was not happy doing agriculture jointly on the limited tract of a land that we owned jointly as a family. 

Taking a cue from brother Raghavan, I ran away to Madras, the city of dreams in Southern part of India at that time. It was hard work during the period from 1934 to 1944. With the small amount of money that I had taken with me I had started a small tea stall in 1925. I built and grew the business brick by brick. During the period of the second world war from 1939- 1945, there was a lot of movement of army troops and Madras was an important place of transit meaning we got some good business. I had become a fairly successful entreprenuer. 

In the meantime, I went back to my native (kingdom of Cochin) to marry. I brought my bride to Madras for a few years but had to take her back to her place, consequent to the commencement of the war. Madras was a  vulnerable place that was more likely to be targeted during the war. Moreover, my life was hectic those days as I was focusing on attending to the many customers. I would visit Cochin now and then . 

All my seven children grew up in Cochin.  My wife was reluctant to return to Madras as the children who had already started their studies in Malayalam would have to start all over again from the scratch, if they switched to Tamil schools in Madras. 

Although, I had my struggles during my younger days, we had more bonding between siblings in those days, We learnt to share whatever was available. In spite of harsh circumstances, suicides were few and far between as we were toughned by circumstances and could not afford to be too sensitive. Elders did not have the time or resources to pamper children. Between my elder children, before I began making money, they had to decide as to who could go for higher studies. The one who got the higher marks went to college and the others had to join me in the grind of building the business.

As I spend a lot of my life in Madras,  I had exposure to Tamil cinema. I did not see any Malayalam movies as they were not released in Madras those days. In spite of my busy schedule I found time to watch the movies of  singing star M.K. Thyagaraja Bhagavathar with 'Haridas' being my favourite. In the later years, I lost interest in cinema as playback singing had started and could not be compared to the singing sensation of my time who sang his songs himself!   

My elder son who had gone to college got a job as lecturer in Maharaja's college in Cochin. However, for most people getting a job was a problem in those days. You needed to get recommendatory letters to land a job as most companies and firms had "No Vacancy"  boards before their office complex. Many of my friends' children were struggling in this regard. I remember one of them drafting an application letter for a job where the highlights were about the number of people who were depending on the 'eldest' son getting a job and how he came from a very reputable and respected family. It was not so much about the personal competency of the applicant.  

When you look at the prosperity that the middle class have managed to achieve today, particularly in the sectors like IT , our life was a struggle. There was lot more uncertainty. Yet, we had better bonding between siblings, neighbours and the community at large. People would rush to help each other in times of emergency. When someone in the village succeeded, it was a matter of pride for not just the immediate family but for the entire village.

So there it is. You now know how it was to have grown up in my grandparent's time. As I see it, you win some; you lose some. Each period has its pluses and challenges. The same is true for my grandparent's time as well,  

4 comments:

  1. Very interesting , but realistic.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you so much Pankajam for responding to the post!

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  2. a candid picture of the society and family bondings of those times when with joint families children grew up with real sharing and understanding. But one thing they were harrowing times with struggle for survival as you well point it out

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  3. Thank you so much for giving your detailed response to the post! Happy you related to the post.

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