"Wheatish Complexion, Ordinary body build"- Movie Review

Of late there's a lot of excitement
over a handful of small budget movies
releasing in the Kannada language
minus the staple diet of glamour,
fights and grandiose sets

So it was back to the theatre
for me after a long time
to watch a Kannada cinema -

and "Godhi banna, sadharana mykattu'
the original words of my translated title
did not disappoint...

My favourite actor Anant Nag
in the lead, essays  role
of an old man with Alzheimer's
disappearing one day in the jungle
in the jungle of Bangalore city....

From then on , it's gripping drama
to trace and find him....

The ambitious son of protagonist
had become so  impatient
annoyed and irritated with the old man
and his disease that  he put him
in an old age home, to focus on career

Even after disappearance
 he is more annoyed and angry
about his career in jeopardy

and it takes the commitment & devotion
of a lady doctor attached to institution
to pass on the urgency and priority
of finding dad at any cost
to the city savvy son!

Parallely, it's about the drama
suspense of a frantic search
and the odd, trying circumstances
the central character lands himself in...
will he reunite with son?
will he with Alzheimer's survive
in the bad, wild world of 'normal' people?
to know this and more watch
wheatish complexion ordinary build (GBSM).

Ananth Nag excels, a treat to watch him
as he moves effortlessly
in scenes before and after ailment
Rakshit Shetty as son, Shruthi Hariharan as doctor
do justice to their roles as do the others
in the supporting cast.

Kudos to the director
Hemanth Rao and his crew
for proving that small films
can also do well commercially
while also getting people to think, ponder
long after they have left theatre....

Gem quotes from Louise Hay

The celebrated author of the book "Heal your body "and many more books, Louise Hay, who is also a metaphysical teacher and inspiration to millions have provided us with many  gem lines in her works which if followed can truly heal our lives and help us discover our full potential. Here I am sharing a few of them that underscores 'Self love'.

•  Many  people live their lives in 'shoulds'. They are busy either making someone else wrong or making themselves wrong.
• I find that most of the problems in our lives are caused by what I call the Big Four: Criticism, Fear, Guilt, and Resentment. 
• Love is the great miracle cure. Loving ourselves works miracles in our lives. I have discovered that no matter what the problem is, the best way to resolve it is to start loving yourself.
• Loving yourself means having great respect for everything about you, inside and out.
• Affirm: I am good enough. I am worth loving.
• Sometimes people actually want to be sick. In our society, we’ve made pain and illness a legitimate way to avoid responsibility or unpleasant situations. If we cannot learn to say no, then we may have to invent a dis-ease to say no for us.
• Filling my mind with pleasant thoughts is the quickest road to health.
• Fear is rampant on the planet today, in the form of war, murder, greed, and mistrust. Fear is a lack of trust in yourself.  When you can overcome your fear, you will begin to trust life. You will begin to trust that life is taking care of you.
• If you want to heal a relationship, the first relationship you need to improve is the one you have with yourself. Why would anyone want to be with you if you don’t want to be with you?
• This means no criticism, no complaining, no blaming, no whining, and no choosing to feel lonely. It means being very content with yourself in the present moment and choosing to think thoughts that make you feel good now.
  

 

Knock on the Door

  I recently attended my maiden meeting of  "Write Club" based in Bangalore whose members meet once in a week. They write a story in allotted time of around two hours followed by reading of the stories and feedback given by the other members. Prompts are given in the beginning to serve  as a spark for the story. The prompt chosen by me read äs  follows:
"There is a knock on your door one afternoon. There is a woman in a suit and two large men with white coats on. The woman hands you a form stating that you have been committed by your family and will be escorted to Belton asylum for evaluation."
 
                                              Short Story
  I was half asleep  when I heard the knock on the front door at around 2 PM in the afternoon. Having retired from service six months ago, I was alone at home. The knock was getting louder and ruder. As I opened the door, a lady and two men in white coats entered brusquely. They coolly announced that I am to accompany them to the mental asylum for some tests.

"But why?" I was in a state of confusion and shock.
"Just change your clothes Mr John. We will tell you the details in the car on the way,"
As I hesitated, one of the men, perhaps a doctor said
"you have been reported by your wife and other relatives as behaving strangely since the last three months and in the last twenty days you are exhibiting anger and violence even in public places."
"Hey, hey, hey, all this is not true. I just had normal anger situations a couple of times at the grocery stores, while we were waiting to be billed , a guy cut the line and I objected, Is that wrong? I am perfectly normal. Just some irritation and anger at times which is normal in the times that we live in..."
"That's what you say Mr John! Don't keep us waiting any longer."

I went to the bedroom to change. My mind was in a whirl. "How could my wife report me like this- that I am mentally unsound! In fact I was one guy who never got angry. I was a  happy go lucky person right from my school and college days. I never bothered myself with unnecessary things; never  plotting or planning for getting  brownie points either in the office or at home.

In fact I understood  the meaning of  worry only after Ann came into my life. She wanted always to tie me around her little finger and ensure that I was not "too happy" at any time. I remember, while lying  in bed, we had a tiff in the initial days of our marriage over some issue I don't remember now. After the lights were switched off at around 10 PM , I immediately went off to sleep . At 12.30 AM,  Ann shook me awake  and said "Hey, get up! You can't sleep so coolly like this.I am not able to sleep since the last two hours." I was both annoyed and bewildered. she couldn't stand peace for me if she herself was not peaceful.

If that was the beginning, it continued for so many years, even after the children came .she was unhappy most of the time, always in a blaming and victim mode- blaming that I am not half as good as the husband she had imagined or the father she had wished for the children.Yet, she was not able to tell me clearly what exactly it is she wanted.She chose to be unhappy in spurts of three to four days and was furious that I also was not equally or more unhappy.

Perhaps in this connection, she could not be blamed.Her mother had spent a life time complaining and criticising her father.she did this not only at home but frequently visited relative's houses for discrediting him, telling how he was a lousy husband and how she had been living a life of a victim for so many years.

Ann must have picked up this trait from her mother. Slowly and steadily she was accusing me of being incompetent- not earning enough to give her and the children a 'better' life. So long as I  was working, I was diverting my thoughts to work and reducing the time I spent at home.This saved me from the continuous barbs atleast on the week days.Now after retirement, it's like the lamb has been  left at the mercy of the tiger to feast.Of late I seem to have lost my sense of equanimity and balance.She has become more vocal and harsh in her criticism and rude in her behaviour.

She doesn't answer me when I ask her something.Conversation between us have become less and less and life is becoming a nightmare.It is true I am getting irritated with people over trivial issues.The other day I picked up a fight with a guy who cut the line at the  groceries counter. In earlier times I would not have dreamt of a  long argument on such an issue.

Perhaps, all the psychological pressure applied on me was part of a strategy to break me.She knows that I  am even less useful to her now with  income drying up on my retirement.Our children who have started  working are now important.If I counted less earlier, I don't count at all now.Getting rid of me would give her more freedom to live life the way she wants to.But, why make me a patient? a mental patient at that! Am I finished for life?

 Are my children aware of all this or only  she and her close relatives are in on this? I see only darkness.... I don't want to go! I am okay.I am normal.But whom do I tell this? These people seem to be so impatient and not interested in what I have to say. I... I had not kept in touch with my own relatives these so many years.My connections had become limited to her family and their  extended families. Now I have nobody! I am finished.... finished for good..."

"Mr John, we have spent too much time here already.We have a lot of other work to do.Let's go!"

 I put an abrupt end to my thoughts, followed the team of white coats and entered the car...

Prized Possessions

The drifting away over the years
raises doubts and questions -
did we ever have deep  love for  each other
ever... ever?

Today,our life is  matter of fact
no time or inclination
to look deep
in to each other's eyes....

Yet, on discovering among old papers
three to four, long forgotten letters
from the early days
of our union
I got my answer...

Yes, we once shared a bond, a longing
enjoyed protection of a loving aura
that no third person could easily
 penetrate or influence...

The prized possessions
are testimony of deeper truths
to be retrieved from the cupboard
to banish doubts
whenever they raise their head...

LOA Series 11- Relationships

Happy, healthy relationships happen
when both parties are independently secure
in alignment with their own inner selves

unhappy person cannot become happy
by entering into a relationship
expecting & hoping that
the other will bring happiness

It's never possible for another
to behave sufficiently
or consistently enough
to keep you in balance
keep you happy...

When you take responsibility
for your feeling good
and same by the other person
and two happy persons merge
without the dependence
magic happens...

Don't find a mate
to fix misalignment
fix the misalignment
and then find a mate!

 NB:  Law of Attraction -  LOA
Source literature: Esther & Jerry Hicks (The teachings of Abraham)

Made to Order

"Had wanted my life partner
to be worldly wise
this guy appears to be 'too spiritual'
for my comfort...
weaning him away
is top priority..."

"Hey now, the problem seems to be reversed
he's become too worldly
spends too much money, has too many friends
showing interest in FTV and the like...
need to change this, got to act fast..."

"If only I had an invisible string
that could be manipulated
to adjust and readjust behaviour
precisely to my requirements
exactly as I want it..."

Spontaneous Overflow of What's Deep Down...

The bad boy of Bollywood cinema
"Annadata" of visual media
is finally nailed on a matter
he had the least intention to offend

But then, the public figures
need to be careful in words
not indulge in small talk
as in a college canteen
or at a get together with cronies...


Footnote : If you do  not want such attitudes to exist  even in casual conversations of ordinary folks, Swatch Bharat has to also  address cleaning of minds conditioned over a long period of time.A  lot of time and effort is to be invested for educating young minds and re educating the older ones.Cosmetic knee jerk reactions do little to solve the problems that emanate from seeds sown deep down.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zex_EFaVaHM