Saturday 31 October 2020

Robots in Human Forms











Robots in human forms
are on the increase
they have long lost
the ability to think  

Poor things, have become like this
key wound puppets of yore 
or programmed modern ones, who
just keep repeating the same lines  

Can never change positions
based on the light of new facts 
analyse, interpret or introspect
lost that ability long ago ..

After all, they are merely automated attendants
in the interactive voice response (IVR) 
mouthing lines of their ideology, party, other rigid
forums to which they have succumbed 

They now have neither the will or desire 
to climb out of the deep pit 
It is total surrender and submission...

Tuesday 27 October 2020

Return of the Prodigal Daughter








Sharadha was returning to India and to her remote village Perinkulam in Palakkad District, Kerala, after 15 years. All this while, she had not kept in touch with the family. Now, she had no other choice but to return on losing her job as a receptionist at a company in Dubai. The business closed down after Covid struck. Sharadha opened the gate to the house. It somehow looked different. The two jack fruit trees on either side which was the hallmark of her house was missing. As she walked towards the front door, she noticed that changes had been made at the entrance area as well. 

She stepped on to the steps leading to the front door. Her elder brother appeared as if from nowhere and positioned himself firmly between the door and her. 

"Yes, what do you want?" he asked 

" Chetta (elder brother), I came this morning from Dubai" 

" Chetta who?  Who are you? what do you want here?  

"Chetta, please don't speak like that." 

"All these years you did not remember you had a chettan, parents, a sister, nephew and niece. Now you have the audacity to come here! 

"Chetta.... I had my problems." 

"You did not come even when our father died. Go away Sharadha. We have nothing to do with you! 

Sharadha had left her village after a failed love affair and bitter fights with her own family. They had called each other all sorts of names. While in Dubai, whenever she thought of home, it was always the stinging words and insults that came to her mind and she simply could not bring herself to contact them. Even when she got information about her father's death through a Malayali friend, her bitterness had prevented her from going home. 

Now, Sharada shifted from one leg to another. Her brother's eyes were rock hard and adamant. There was not even an iota of kindness in them. Her mind was in a whirl; she was not  even able to think properly.  What could she do. Where will she go? She saw only darkness all around her. She had at first thought of staying back in Dubai and waiting out  the Covid 19 problem . But for how long? The virus which many thought would go away in two weeks had continued for days together. Her savings were running out. With no income and an uncertain future, living any longer in Dubai was nonviable.  Her brother was continuing his rant. Most of what he was saying was not registering on her mind. She just knew that she had no place to go Perhaps, the only option for her was to  jump into well  behind the house...   

At that time, the front gate opened and her mother came inside. She seemed to have aged a lot. From her attire and the sandal paste ( Chandana) mark on her forehead, it was obvious that she was returning from the temple. Their eyes met and her mother stared at Sharada in shocked amazement. Suddenly, tears began to flow from her eyes and there she was hugging her daughter tightly. After all, she was a mother who gave birth to Sharada  and was now meeting her after 15 long years. She was unable to hold on to any resentment.  Sharadha was also now sobbing. Her brother, slowly moved away from his domineering position  at the front door . He knew that his mother's was the last word in the house. 

 Far away, a dog barked. A few children were seen walking down the road. It appeared as if life was as usual in that sleepy Kerala village. 

Saturday 24 October 2020

The meteoric Journey

 In our Writers' club Bangalore, meet  on 17th October the moderator introduced the idea of writing stories based on the concept of "Alternate history". This story was written on the said prompt.

  Alternate history (or alternate timeline or alternate reality) is a fictional setting where one or more historical events occur differently. These stories usually contain "what if" scenarios at crucial points in history and present outcomes other than those in the historical record. The stories are speculative fiction but often based on fact. 

There was a lot of excitement in the house of ten year old, Ramadas. His father was a staunch supporter of his leader Subhas Chandra Bose. Papa’s leader had won  the congress presidential elections in 1938 and 1939. But now there was a lot of disagreements within the party as to the policy and approach of Bose. His father being around the same age as his leader fully supported a stronger resistance to the British. That day was the D day when a decision would be taken  after debates,  as to whether the party will stand by Bose or ask him to step down. 

 It was late in the evening when his father returned home. Even at that late hour about twenty to thirty people accompanied him. Ramdas ran to the door to ask his father whether his leader had prevailed. But there was no need to ask. The jubilation on their faces said it all. Mother and sisters rushed to the kitchen to make tea. Nobody minded doing so,  even as there was a lot of bonhomie  and happiness. It was at that point that Ramdas decided he would follow in his father’s footsteps. He would embrace his father's leader as his own leader and imbibe his ideals for a free and fearless India!   

 In the days that followed many in his class were talking about the  magnificent wedding that took place in the household of the Nawab of Pataudi. But Ramdas was not interested. He  was excited  to talk to Jaggu, the only classmate who would listen to him about how his leader Subhash Chandra Bose managed to prevail on his colleagues and retain leadership of the party. Two to three Years rolled by.  When he was in the eighth class, Ramdas joined the Quit India movement.  The movement turned violent in many places. Ramdas was one of the many youngsters arrested and jailed for three months. He fortunately had his father’s support for all his actions. After all, it was his father who was the first freedom fighter in the family. Jaggu on the otherhand faced lot of difficulties from his family. But he was always willing to be a right hand to him,  prepared to join him  in everything he did.  

After retaining control of the party, Bose was in the process of developing a harder line toward the British. He was putting this  in place when it was obvious that the second world war impacted the British adversely both economically and in terms of their  ability to retain colonial administration & control  all over the world. The focus of the nationalist leader Bose changed around this time from fighting for independence  to planning for effective administration of independent India. When the Labour party won the British elections in July 1945, they decided to handover power to India. 

Gandhiji advised his followers to dissolve the congress party, the primary aim of  the party having been achieved.   The top leaders agreed to the suggestion and five major parties were formed- The Nationalist party led by Jawaharlal Nehru, United India Party of Sardar Vallabhai Patel, Justice for All party of Mohammad Ali Jinnah, Republican party of Babasaheb Ambedkar and the Forward March Party of Subhash Chandra Bose. It was agreed  that Nehru would be the interim PM who would take charge from the Governor General on 15th August 1947. A Lot of water had flowed under the bridge since then.

 It was  the swearing in ceremony  after the  declaration of results in the1972 General elections . In the press meet the youngest Prime Minister of Independent India  Ramdas Khare, at 33 years of age , was recalling his journey from  a  student freedom fighter to the position of the PM. Mr Khare said that he was grateful to his leader, the great patriot Subhash Chandra Bose for grooming him over the years. He expressed his sorrow that neither his father nor his leader who passed away in 1968 and 1969 respectively were able to witness the historic moment.  The new Prime minister introduced his cabinet starting with his Home minister, a long time right hand Jagadish Thakur. The whole of India from Karachi to Kanyakumari participated in the excitement and expectations from a new Government. 

Thursday 22 October 2020

Photographic Memories










The picture brings back memories 

of the good old days, of no worries 

happy go lucky days- our school days! 


Now, this here is a solemn occasion 

everyone so serious

the school leader in a suit! 

yet on normal days , school assembly 

is all about scurrying to be on time

or face the wrath, cane of PT master!   


Personally didn't mind the assembly

loved our school prayer that was 

preceded by a few quotes from the vedas 

and ending with om shanti, shanti, shanti!  


There were quite a few of us though 

who simply hated the assembly time 

particularly those days of long speeches! 

they came up with innovative ideas 

conspiring with friends...   


one student would 'faint' 

presumably because of the heat 

and others would come to his aid 

support and carry to the class room 

Ha, five to six boys saved from long speeches 

and the summer sun above an open ground...  


These, and other little mischief 

within and outside the classroom

harmless pranks made up 

the school days of our times... 


NB:  In our literary what's app group (IPC) ,it was suggested that we write a poem based on an old photograph from childhood. This is my response to the call.

Sunday 11 October 2020

In Search of Maturity








A friend Neelakanthan Gopalan suggested a prompt "Maturity" and exhorted me to write a poem.  In this regard he shared some teachings of Adi Shankaracharya as well. This poem emerged from it....


 "You immature fellow" chided father

He  felt  Arun was a vagabond 

with no aim in life

wasting away hours with friends

who themselves had "No purpose"

no job, living on the earnings of their fathers

long after they have all become adults! 


Having heard for the umpteenth time 

father's  tirade of 'immaturity' 

one day the words struck a chord

That morning, instead of going to usual meeting place

a modest coffee shop in town 

Arun headed for the public library... 


Then, the next day and the day after that 

and many more days that followed

Arun found himself at the library 

when it opened in the morning 

and spend a lot of time there

to the annoyance of his friends.  


One day  when father as usual mocked "this immature fellow" 

Arun surprised himself and his father to say " Yes I am immature

but you are immature too! Let us both work on our immaturity" 

Then he reeled off  wise words from books in the library 

picked up from teachings of  Adi shankaracharya 

"The mature accept people as they are 

they stop trying to change others! 

drop expectations from a relationship 

learn to let go! 

stop comparing with others 

maturity is being at peace with yourself"   


After the outburst, he was drained of all emotions

totally exhausted and a little ashamed

Arun touched his father's feet, said he was sorry for all troubles 

wanted to learn a computer application course

would turn over a new leaf... 


A stunned father gave him money for course

as he left home to pay fees and join for program 

father shook his head "Yes maturity is required " he mused

not for just one but both of us

from now on, it would be all support and no complaints!   


Mother smiled happily

caught in the conflict between two dear ones

this was  her first smile 

in many days....      



Saturday 3 October 2020

Triumph of the Spirit











On 29th August 2020, I attended a webinar on happiness in the name and style of "happyness conversations" organized by a Chennai couple Avis Viswanathan and Vaani Anand who call themselves the "Happynesswalas". At the outset the hosts explained the background to their organizing the monthly events  which were  happening physically at the  Odyssey book store Chennai. Presently it is organized online due to the Covid pandemic. 

The hosts said that the basic aim of this exercise was to have conversations with people who have faced difficulties or heavy odds in their lives but have managed to triumph over their problems and are contributing  successfully to the society. The Happyness Walas themselves had encountered problems of financial instability and bankruptcy but came out of the ordeal as better people who wished to do something to raise the  happiness levels in society. The happiness conversations is an initiative aimed towards  this end.   

I was attending the "happyness conversation" for the first time and  had primarily registered for the event as the person featured to share her experiences for the day was none other than a poet friend Vidya Shankar. We are members of a What's app group of Indian poets called The India Poetry Circle (IPC). I am also a member of a literary group on face book namely Kavya-AdiSakrit of which Vidya is an administrator. I knew Vidya as a poet who is a published author of two books (1) The Flautist of Brindaranyam and (2) Rise of Yogamaya. I was curious to know more about Vidya, the human being and what life lessons she was going to share in a "Happiness conversation".  

As the conversation progressed we got to know how and why a happy go lucky young woman's life turned topsy turvy one year into the marriage. One may be surprised or even shocked to learn that it was on account of the pressure exerted on her to become a mother - not by her husband  but  by all and sundry around her. People asked all sorts of questions about her pregnancy on all possible occasions be it a family function or get together during a festival. Pushed by the constant badgering Vidya and her husband Shankar started consulting one Gynec  after another . Initially she thought just popping a few pills would do the job. But as it turned out,  she had to go through hormone injections which were very expensive. Other treatments like insemination followed. Every month, she had to undergo special scans that violated her personal space. The artificial insemination took an emotional toll. 

If all these concerns weren't enough, you get unsolicited advice from even casual acquaintances who would like to give you advice such as "Go without salt for a while"  or "Go around a banyan tree" or that "Palli dosham"  was the cause for which remedies need to be performed etc. Vidya was encouraged to attend "Valaikappu"  functions (This is a ritual performed widely throughout Tamil Nadu in preparation for a woman's first delivery and its primary objective is to satisfy the pregnant woman's desires, bless her, and ensure a safe delivery and a healthy baby)  of pregnant women in the vicinity. All rituals done were performed for Vidya  as well. A stranger could come up and ask " Are you not ashamed that you are not able to bear a child?" This ordeal and associated trauma had to be experienced every month for 10 years till the year 2000. 

During the conversation Vidya was asked as to why she allowed others to manipulate and control her in this manner?  She said "I could not have put my foot down as we women , right from childhood are mentally conditioned to accept the rule of the society. You are reminded in subtle ways that you are only a girl".  This is a very important aspect that needs to be addressed by Indian society. It is high time that we stopped discriminating between boys and girls. The girl child should be empowered right from childhood  to express herself confidently.

To a question on handling the trauma and exploring alternatives, Vidya said that after their seventh wedding anniversary, they did discuss the option of adoption. However, at that point of time there was not much awareness and it was generally believed that the adoption process is very tedious and long winding. It was years later that they came across  a couple from a respectable family who had adopted . The next question was "So when did you accept the reality of not being able to conceive and put an end to the 'tamasha' of  regular visits to gynecologists?"  The answer given by Vidya was very touching and insightful. She said " We had reached a stage when  we  no longer wanted  the baby for ourselves. It had become a job that needed to be done 'for their sake'. We had stopped attending family functions."  

" One day while returning from a consultation with doctor, I had this feeling of "enough is enough". I told Shankar and he also agreed."  Soon after, the couple got an opportunity to live and work in Colombo and there was some respite from these issues during the time they were away. However, when they returned to Chennai in 2006 the second phase of the pressure started. The people around her convinced Vidya  to give it another shot. She went for treatment to a specialist for around 6 to 8 months to find that the expensive treatment had  left them with zero bank balance.  Subsequently they went to Dubai and it was here that a  formal final decision was taken to not pursue the goal of becoming a mother.  Vidya admitted that it was a difficult decision to take.   

At this point a question was asked as to the role played by poetry during the process of coming to terms with the situation. Vidya said that she had always been in love with poetry since childhood- to the extent that she could not help writing poetry lines in the answer sheets during examinations. It was later with marriage and other responsibilities that she had been writing less and less.  However poetry came back into her life in a big way when she needed it most. 

Vidya said that on that day in Dubai when the decision was taken or rather the acceptance happened that she may never become a mother, her first few lines of poetry burst forth after many years of not writing anything. She titled the poem "Wait for sunshine" and it was published in an international journal. Vidya said that she subsequently realized  she did not have to "Wait for sunshine", She was the sunshine! Since then she had no problem of writing and poetry flowed freely from her pen and the first book "The Flautist of Brindaranyam" was ready for publication.  

Another interesting question that was put to her was " Did you find poetry or did poetry find you?" Surprising all of us,  Vidya answered "I am poetry!" It was  poetry that made her what she was and moving away from  poetry had  meant moving away from herself. 

The next question was " Soon after you first book was published,  you underwent a hysterectomy surgery.  After the surgery, you went into a prolonged depression. How did you come out of it?"   Vidya said that although a decision was taken to move on with her life, the actual  physical removal of the uterus was something that caused a lot of emotional turmoil. This was not understood by most people who had no time either to listen or understand what she was going through.  People whom she thought were very close had no clue. They would say things like "What is your problem? Now that your mother in law is also no more, you can have a jolly life. Go on a second honey moon." In fact she had  blocked out a "so called friend" totally  from her life, including from social media accounts. 

 Vidya said that within a week of the surgery, she began to cry every now and then for no particular reason.   To take her mind off from things, she was persuaded by a  friend to participate in a book launch function. During the launch, a lady spoke about depression and how one needs to be vigilant about it. Listening to the talk convinced Vidya that something was amiss and she decided to meet a couple of psychologists. But here also, she met with disappointment as these professionals had a typical traditional response to her problems. As for example, they noted that she was dressed very well and concluded that a person under depression wouldn't be motivated enough to dress well. 

However, at this point she was determined to address the issue  and come out of it for the sake of her husband who had been with her shoulder to shoulder whole through her trials and tribulations.  Vidya  met with her yoga master who was very supportive. He welcomed her to resume yoga and was willing to give her the space and freedom  to go about it at her pace. The yoga teacher allowed her to simply cry during the first four classes. Practicing yoga with renewed interest helped her in slowly limping back to normalcy. She was able to write and release her second book "Rise of Yogamaya".

The next question posed was regarding the role of Shankar in her journey to recovery. Vidya replied that Shankar was always there for her. He cooked the meals, ensured that she was properly fed and took care of her like a mother, her baby.  He would accompany her wherever she went. Vidya  related an incident  after the recovery when they went out for dinner. When the time came to pay the bill, she insisted that she would pay it.  After paying the  bill, Vidya quipped "Happy Mother's Day Shankar!". It was Mother's day and it was her way of acknowledging all the love and support that Shankar had given her throughout the trying period  and whole of her married life. 

Vidya was asked whether she felt vulnerable sharing her story and whether it is painful and embarrassing to do so in public before an audience. She replied that reliving all the negative incidents in one's life can be painful. But, she believed that there is a  purpose and reason why she had to go through all those hardships. It has now become her mission to educate young women and let them know that their body is their own and it is for them to decide what they want to do with it- to decide whether they want to become a mother or not. 

" There should be no more Vidyas!" doomed to suffer unnecessarily. People should be educated to the fact that the only purpose of marriage is not child rearing A child should come into this world not because there is pressure from anyone but because he/she is lovingly desired by the parents as an epitome of the love that the couple feel for each other. "The universe has chosen me to do this" she said. The last question posed to the lady of the day was " What is your idea of happiness?' Vidya replied that it was about living in the now,  in gratitude, forgiving and stress free. Surely, this was a great way to end a conversation. 

As for me I was  moved by the proceedings of the evening. My regards and respect for this wonderful couple of Vidya and Shankar went up by so many notches! There was so much of pain and drama in the story on the one hand. On the other hand, it was a tale of so much positivity- the will to  overcome one's hardships  and  willingness to pass on the learning and insights so that others do not suffer in a similar manner. This was one conversation that lingered in the mind for long.   This blog is my bit contribution to the mission of Vidya. Her amazing and inspiring story needs to be spread in all possible ways! 

NB:  During the conversation, the hosts at frequent intervals drew attention to insights  from the discussion such as " Acceptance is the key" for moving forward. Readers can access the whole 'happyness conversation' here:  https://youtu.be/VKXEeEJYWNU    



Thursday 1 October 2020

Departing

 








Like it or not

whether ready or unprepared 

someday it will all come to an end 

and it is time to go        


Though  departing is certain 

as certain, as the sun setting in the west

having risen in the east 

people are  reluctant to discuss death 

any discussion is avoided 

it is  like something that is happening

happens to someone else.... 


If discussed in the normal 

everyday conversations 

as any other activity in life 

like eating, bathing , working, playing

perhaps, people wouldn't fear departing  


They would accept it as a normal transition 

and prepare themselves better 

iron out relationships, prepare wills

and generally be ready for another journey 


After all as an author said 

death is an illusion- no death really occurs

merely a transition to the next state of existence.